I know it's kind of weird that I want to meet you, because I was you. But now, with everything that has happened to me, I want to see you. Your creativity and spark. The secret spy journals you kept and watch all the games of pretend that ended only when it was dinner or bed-time. I want to watch you play cards with Daddy and shop with Mom and complain about the 'oldies' country music you've come to love.
I'd like you to know that life is good. You've grown up to be a pretty strong person. I'd like you to know that Mom and Dad really do know what's best for you. They love you and want to keep you safe. Let them. You'll have plenty of chances to rebel in college, so keep them happy for now. You think they don't know what's going on, but they do. They know you.
Keep an open mind. You'll get where you want to be, but you still have to try. Keep up friendships--it gets harder as you get older, just know that. I think the best and worst thing about you is your naivety. You see the world as this beautiful, perfect place and soon you'll find that it isn't. The trick to life is not ignoring the ugliness and pain of the world...it's finding the beauty and peace that's already there and clinging to it for dear life. Keep dreaming, because your dreams are worth it. I know you hate school, but keep on keeping on because you'll find a place where you belong. It's in St. Louis. You may think I'm crazy...but I promise. It will be home.
Don't stop writing. Don't stop journaling or composing stories and poems. Words are a powerful thing and...just don't stop. Love your friends and love your teachers. Learn to love the world around you and keep in mind that there is a higher power that is guiding you right to where I am sitting now. The world is going to take care of you, so don't worry, little me, you're going to be just fine.
Love,
Ashley
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