Pushers

I don’t really blame you for pushing me away, after all I did the same thing. The only difference was that I couldn’t and you could, and you did.

#DearOldLove

Two Thousand Twelve

The Universe blessed me with some very important people.

I went to NYC with my class of insanely talented lovelies.

Then after that exhausting trip, turned right around and spent St. Patrick's Day in Memphis with my very best friends.

Loralyn visited me in St. Louie!

I said goodbye to my Mimi.

My last MWTA

My Last Seminar

I Stage Managed a beautiful show of Lady Windermere's Fan with a group of amazing people

I discovered beeritas

I got a BFA! (with honors!)

I said goodbye to my best friends

I rocked it hard at LTOTS with two amazing ladies and a company of fantastic people.

Visited picturesque Holland, MI!

I rediscovered my love for reading!!

I moved into my first apartment!

Got a pen pal and a friend back.

Saw the Circus!!

Saw some beautiful nature. Felt blessed and was reminded how incredible this world really is.

I never stopped missing Vienna.

I started my first professional SM gig at the Imaginary Theatre Company.

Equity!!

And I couldn't be happier!!

I've had ups and downs and hard goodbyes. I've met some amazing people and there were so many memories made. This is my first year not in school - my first year on my own and I feel so blessed to have my friends and family beside me as we go through this crazy thing called life.

Day 12

I'm thankful for the love of a beautiful puppy.

Freckles.

Day 3 - These Things

Source: cualacin0.tumblr.com via Natalie on Pinterest

30 Days of Thanks Giving

30 Days of Thanks Giving. Giving Thanks.

To the Universe, to the late night decisions that turned into the best paths, to anything and everything that made me who I am and gave me things to be thankful for.

1. I LOVE my job. I love it. To me, there is nothing in the world more rewarding than the smiles of children who have just been captured by theatrical magic. They're grinning from ear to ear. Their jaws are dropped open at this thing that they've just experienced. They are using their imagination. They don't know exactly what they've seen, but it's awesome, it's cool, it's really neat and it just happened right in front of them!! For a while, they are in this magical world of theatre. Who knows if they'll remember it years from now. But they've seen it. They've embraced it, they've dived in, no questions asked, completely accepting that we are now in a magical forest where giant birds talk to you or near a quiet old farmhouse where gnomes really exist! Theatre for Young Audiences is more than my job. It's my passion and I'm so thankful to be able to do what I love.

2. My parents have always supported me, always loved me, and always encouraged me. When I said I wanted to do theatre for the rest of my life, they never said, "No, that's ridiculous." or "You'll never make enough money to support yourself." or "What about a real job?" They told me that whatever I wanted to do was fine and helped me get to where I wanted to be. They taught me right and wrong and respect and how to see the world. They taught me to trust people and to love everyone. They instilled values in me and I hope I've made them proud with my work and who I am. I love them to the moon and back and I miss them constantly and look forward to seeing whenever I can.

Okay.

I Just Might

I just might be stronger than I know. Well I might really be surprised.

Dolly's words are hitting me hard tonight.

I just finished a letter to a dear friend. Well, what used to be a dear friend. Times change, people grow apart. We disagree and we fight and we let go of relationships that were so important to us at one point.

But the thing that can set apart a true friendship is how to build the bridge to reconnect.

We used to write letters. She was my Big Apple Pen Pal to my Viennese letters. She answered every one diligently and excitedly. I'll be the first to admit I'm jealous of her way with words--the way they seem to come from her so easily and so beautifully. But it's just one of the things I admired about her.

We had our disagreements. Our rough spots. I didn't support her as I should have a classmate. A comrade. A cohort, even, on a fun night. We put our differences in the spotlight. We made them the center of our connection and then the other things fell away. The way we both loved books. The way we loved writing and reading and Vienna and chocolate and Smirnoff and pretty fonts.

We lost all those connections when we began to focus on the disconnect that was happening.

And I'm letting go. Apologies and all. I'm putting the letter in the mail tomorrow before work, and my greatest hope is that it reaches her before she leaves her summer job and my courage to say I'm sorry is gone for another long while.

Just Haven't Met You Yet

I'd run away with you.

Maybe not to Paris...it's not quite all it's cracked up to be.

But maybe Venice. Milan. Verona. Tuscany. Athens.

I'd jump on a plane with you in a heartbeat.

You'd have the plans all taken care of. The hotels, the paths through the city, the museums, the works of art and ghost tours and strolls through the most beautiful countrysides. But there would be room for spontaneity, cause you know I hate planning.

It'd be a surprise when we left. You'd pick me up from work and we'd just go. You'd have my bags packed and we'd jump on the next flight. It would be exhilarating and fantastical.

You'd pick me tulips in Amsterdam and kiss me in a gondola in Venice. We'd watch the sun set in Athens and experience the magical history of Verona.

And it would be magical.

I wouldn't worry or stress.

I hate planning.

I'd run away with you.

Kiss

The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.

-Emil Ludwig

"A kiss seals two souls for a moment in time." 

-Levende Waters

I Believe

I believe in magic;

in wind blowing through smoke,

in grass growing around concrete,

in trees growing from garbage,

& life springing out of decay.

I believe in small miracles, 

 in phoenixes & pixies

in laying in the grass until

the sun comes up again

& counting stars all night

in swimming

in a lake, at night

till we cant feel our fingertips

I believe in talking to someone new everyday,

in coloring a dismal building

with cheerful words

& standing up for the silent

I believe we have to save ourselves,

yet you have & continue to help me

I believe in rocking the line between

loneliness & independence

& finding beauty in the breakdown

I believe in feeling hail, sunburn, & wind.

I believe that roses have their thorns,

& that's what makes them beautiful.

I believe that time waits for no man,

& no matter your circumstances,

the world keeps turning.

Emily Sexton 2010