Pushers

I don’t really blame you for pushing me away, after all I did the same thing. The only difference was that I couldn’t and you could, and you did.

#DearOldLove

Two Thousand Twelve

The Universe blessed me with some very important people.

I went to NYC with my class of insanely talented lovelies.

Then after that exhausting trip, turned right around and spent St. Patrick's Day in Memphis with my very best friends.

Loralyn visited me in St. Louie!

I said goodbye to my Mimi.

My last MWTA

My Last Seminar

I Stage Managed a beautiful show of Lady Windermere's Fan with a group of amazing people

I discovered beeritas

I got a BFA! (with honors!)

I said goodbye to my best friends

I rocked it hard at LTOTS with two amazing ladies and a company of fantastic people.

Visited picturesque Holland, MI!

I rediscovered my love for reading!!

I moved into my first apartment!

Got a pen pal and a friend back.

Saw the Circus!!

Saw some beautiful nature. Felt blessed and was reminded how incredible this world really is.

I never stopped missing Vienna.

I started my first professional SM gig at the Imaginary Theatre Company.

Equity!!

And I couldn't be happier!!

I've had ups and downs and hard goodbyes. I've met some amazing people and there were so many memories made. This is my first year not in school - my first year on my own and I feel so blessed to have my friends and family beside me as we go through this crazy thing called life.

Day 3 - These Things

Source: cualacin0.tumblr.com via Natalie on Pinterest

I Just Might

I just might be stronger than I know. Well I might really be surprised.

Dolly's words are hitting me hard tonight.

I just finished a letter to a dear friend. Well, what used to be a dear friend. Times change, people grow apart. We disagree and we fight and we let go of relationships that were so important to us at one point.

But the thing that can set apart a true friendship is how to build the bridge to reconnect.

We used to write letters. She was my Big Apple Pen Pal to my Viennese letters. She answered every one diligently and excitedly. I'll be the first to admit I'm jealous of her way with words--the way they seem to come from her so easily and so beautifully. But it's just one of the things I admired about her.

We had our disagreements. Our rough spots. I didn't support her as I should have a classmate. A comrade. A cohort, even, on a fun night. We put our differences in the spotlight. We made them the center of our connection and then the other things fell away. The way we both loved books. The way we loved writing and reading and Vienna and chocolate and Smirnoff and pretty fonts.

We lost all those connections when we began to focus on the disconnect that was happening.

And I'm letting go. Apologies and all. I'm putting the letter in the mail tomorrow before work, and my greatest hope is that it reaches her before she leaves her summer job and my courage to say I'm sorry is gone for another long while.

That Moment When...

...you realize you actually have NO idea what's next in your life. When you imagine six months from where you are & you have no guarantee of a job or an inkling of where in the world you'll be.

...you look at your life, wonder how you got here, and wonder how you got so lucky.

...you find the one person in the world that makes you crazier than anyone else.

...you realize you are in charge of your life--you are the one making decisions. You're the boss.

...someone respects you.

...someone hates you.

...you are proud of who you are.