Quote

“Look at you. You’re young. And you’re scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as fuck and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget that you have school the next day. Stop waiting for Friday. Live now. Do it now. Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours. When are you going to realize that you can do whatever you want?”

Slow Down, You Crazy Child

When will you realize,

Vienna waits for you?

Karlskirche-Vienna, Austria

Life is not a destination. It's a journey. It's not a means to an end-why is everyone trying to get to the next "checkpoint" in their lives? Can't anyone slow down and see the beauty that is in this world for us? Don't just stop and smell the roses. Stop and talk to the people. See the beauty in the living and the inanimate. The buildings and the people who built them. The creativity that sparked in their minds as they thought up this wonderous thing you're seeing, staring at, in awe of. Life would be a little more wonderful, don't you think, if people would stop and take in the beauty that they pass by every day. Don't take life and all it has to offer for granted. Every scene you see is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so treat it as such because you're never going to see the same thing twice. Learn to love the uniqueness of each and every moment.

Winter Wonderland of Heldenplatz and the Rathaus

Magic

"I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?"

   John Lennon

Hodgepodge of Thoughts for a Rainy Day

1. Where are people going, at 1:30pm that makes them zip past me on the highway in such an all-fired hurry? Really, sir in the fancy red car with an iPhone to your ear, where ya goin?

2. One of the most magical sounds is a five year old child backstage after the show. "WOW!" he shouts as he sees the props lying on the table. He points excitedly at an actor "You are Pinocchio's daddy!". His eyes are wide and curious and his head is practically spinning around at all the things he's never seen.

3. "It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry." I also feel this way about gummy bears. Life would be so simple if we'd just let it be that way.

4. The realization of your expendability is rather sobering.

5. Rascal Flatt's new song "I Won't Let Go"

6. Finding new friends is thrilling.

7. Then followed that beautiful season... Summer....
Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; and the landscape
Lay as if new created in all the freshness of childhood.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Summer 2011. Can't. Wait.

8. Good feeling: Writing run sheets in crayon. BFA-right here, folks.

Really good feeling: Running a show without the run sheet.

9. How can one person possibly miss so many people all at the same time? I feel like I'm going to explode.

      "No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly convinced of each other's worth."

10. What a piece of work is man. How noble in reason. How infinite in faculties. In form and moving how express and admirable.

11. Lately, thing I want most in the world is just a good old fashioned game of Flippy.

Monday

Tomorrow is Monday.
The real world dreads Monday. The end of the weekend. The start of a new, potentially hellacious week of monotonous work.
Conveniently, I live in the fake world where Monday is a blessed reprieve from a job I don't hate. That's right folks:: Equity Day Off.

So for the first time in three weeks, I get a day off! No Pinocchio show or rehearsals to attend, and no Evita to run at night.
Mondays make me feel connected, though. There's something really wonderful about knowing that for a lot of my friends, tomorrow is their weekend too. New York, Chicago, St. Louis--wherever theatre is happening, Monday is (usually) the day of rest. The day to calm down and run all the errands you don't have time to do during the week. Catch up with the friends that despise the crazy schedule you live for.
It's a small thing...but it's a really cool thing to me...so bring it on Monday...I LOVE YOU!

"Shrinks in NYC must be really busy on Monday."
-a Stage Manager

Blank Stage

There's something ridiculously calming about a blank stage before the preset. I think there's something really premitively beautiful in a space without all the glitz and glamour and furniture. One of my favorite things, though I don't do it often, is sitting in a theatre before the show and taking in the stillness.
I enjoy this because I know what will take place here in just a few hours. The dancers will twirl out in their gorgeous dresses and take over the stage. The lead actress will command the attention of every patron and her antagonist will be a fierce presence on the stage. The furniture will engage in a game of tetris behind all the curtains, unbeknownst to the audience, who are enraptured by the latest song, the last monologue. So I sit sometimes, and enjoy the silence.
Then the sounds of the theatre begin. The spot ops arrive, loud and boisterous-just back from dinner and packed full of caffeine and energy. The sound guy arrives and mic packs are clicking and batteries are being tossed and replaced. The bustle begins, and I wish that I could sit here longer and just listen. I hear the other asm grab a broom and start sweeping. The costume racks roll in as the dressers begin their presets. I hear the clicking of the moving lights as the lighting designer begins his channel check. He's laying on the prop bed or rolling around the stage on a scooter, but he's good at what he does, so I give him that much.
Pretty soon the theatre is no longer that silent sanctuary and the stage is no longer blank. The actors start to warm up and the bustle only heightens. The show begins and that' s that. The stage is filled with glamorous lights and costumes and singing and the magic of theatre takes over. It's beautiful and thrilling and exhilarating.
But the blank stage is beautiful in it's own right, too.

Silver Linings

This is one of my very best friends in the whole world. I love her to the ends of the earth and back again. I have also recently dubbed her my "Silver Lining Best Friend". I can find several not so awesome things about life at the moment, but as per my emotional-based New Years Resolution, I am determined to find good things around me. I am at home for the semester, and among the good that I see regularly, (like having family close, for instance), seeing this beautiful lady is definitely a Silver Lining to whatever I'm not psyched about. I have seen her more times in the past month than I probably have in the last two years .

I think the best thing about a best friend is that feeling when you get together after so much time apart, and it.doesn't.matter. The same things are funny. You still laugh with each other and at the other's corny jokes. You've both grown, but your lives are so intricately intertwined by fate, it's impossible to not connect like no time has passed. You still watch the same types of shows and movies and you still do the same crazy, silly stuff. Just the other day was that JR High Band Concert. A week ago we were were taking the SATs. Last weekend, we started college. And in December, this smart, amazing lady is going to graduate college with a fancy major and a fun minor and the summer after that, she'll be headed to PT school to go get a super-smart degree and she's going to change the world.

I love you Silver Lining Best Friend.
<3

Lukewarm Tea

"It's better to make a mistake with the full force of your being than to carefully avoid mistakes with a trembling spirit. Responsibility means recognizing both pleasure and price, making a choice based on that recognition, and then living with that choice without concern."

"It sounds so 'either-or'. What about moderation?"

"Moderation? Moderation? It's mediocrity, fear, and confusion in disguise. It's the devil's reasonable deception. It's the wobbling compromise that makes no one happy. Moderation is for the bland, the apologetic, for the fence sitters of the world afraid to take a stand. It's for those afraid to laugh or cry, for those afraid to live or die. Moderation is lukewarm tea, the devil's own brew!"

             --The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, by Dan Millman

Of Songs and Merlin

1-I can't get over this song. It's beautiful and lovely and pretty much the whole thing is addicting. Its impossible to get tired of...I just keep it on repeat.
2-I can't get over the show. It's brilliant. If you haven't watched it, perhaps the following video will persuade you to do so immediately.

Blue Danube

If someone handed me a plane ticket to Vienna International Airport right now, I'd take it without a second thought, pack a bag in 10 minutes, and be off to DFW Airport. I'd land in Vienna several long hours later, but it would feel like a snap.

I'd take the Airport Bus straight down to Schwedenplatz--it's only about 6 Euros. I'd grab a 24 hr U-Bahn ticket and walk around Stephensplatz and Stadtpark. I'd go on the outskirts of the city and visit the Belvedere grounds and Schonbrunn Palace. I could walk around Schonbrunn for hours. And if the weather was nice, I'd sit on one of those benches overlooking that immaculately beautiful courtyard and read a book that inspired me to learn and explore. I'd sit by the Danube-maybe at the park near Webster- and admire the impossibly blue water. Late afternoon would find me back at Stephansplataz for some coffee-a melange, perhaps, or maybe just some hot chocolate. I'd get a kebap for old time's sake and spend my evening at the Opera-watching a world class performance that some people only dream of seeing.

It seems silly, but I miss Vienna more the further away it gets from me. I miss the easy going pace of Austria coupled with its stunning art, architecture, and history. I fear that soon it will seem like a dream-a distant memory--when it was so much more. I miss Vienna with a passion that I didn't even know I had. Don't get me wrong--I'm thoroughly enjoying being home-my family, my friends, my puppy. But I miss the adventure, the uncertainty, the new places to explore. I'm sure those exist here-they just don't seem as mystical as they do there. The excitement that was a new country every weekend is not a luxury I have here, and as special as it was, I don't want it to be a 'once-in-a-lifetime' type thing-I want to do it again! I want to keep going places and exploring. I feel like I only got a taste of Europe-and I need more. And with three of my classmates having their adventure this semester, it just makes me with I was back in that magical city. I'll get back to Vienna eventually, it's the fact that I don't know when that kills me.

So I'll settle for vicarious living for now until I have the $1300 for a plane ticket lying around...I will someday. =)

My favorite view in all Vienna--a fleeting image of the Danube as we raced by it on the U-Bahn between Kagran and Alte Donau.