"Faith is truth to the willing"
The scariest part about believing in something anymore is the knowledge that I had that--I had the faith, I had the passion--and I've lost it. Somewhere between the unanswered prayers and the monotony of the church I grew up in, I lost it. I lost the love, I lost the belief--I lost everything that I thought I knew.
So maybe I don't believe in the conventional principles that I was brought up on. But as I go through this life...As I live and I learn and I discover new things and discuss new ideas...I'm finding things to believe in. And if that's not the Southern Baptist ideals and beliefs, then I'm learning to accept that.
But I believe in friends, I believe in the beauty of life. I believe in a divine power, I'm just not sure to what extent. I believe that a family that loves you is the most wonderful thing in the world. I think that exploring and learning is a necessary part of life. I think growing up is optional and so is suffering, though growing old and experiencing pain is not. I believe in mercy and grace and am trying my hardest to believe in the good of mankind: even though every news story and article and some people tries to prove me wrong. Maybe one day I will go back to what I had, because I'm not ruling anything out. Because part of me still believes what my younger self did, I can't let it go completely and maybe I'll find that again.
I believe that life is meant to be lived and people are meant to be loved, and if I'm wrong, then at least I'm living a life that I can be proud of.
I regret that I cannot articulate my feelings as well as some...that I can't articulate my beliefs in a more sophisticated sounding article. But I guess that's just not who I am right now. That's not my life. And I'm okay. Because I'm content. I'm happy at this very moment in time, and that's what I've been striving for for a long time now, and I finally feel like I'm accomplishing something.
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