Everything is seeming to crash on me at once. And constantly. Think waves. Not the lazy river kind, but the surfing kind. The ones that cap so magnificently and steal you away for those few moments when you're not sure if you're gonna breathe again any time soon.
Missing Vienna is hard. It's so incredible to talk about it with people who have been there--to share stories and reminisce about those surreal 3 months we spent in that beautiful place. I feel really lucky to be connected like that. But talking about it sometimes just makes me miss it more. Life was easy in Vienna. Life was nearly perfect, and it it wasn't always just that, a little slice of anna torte from Demels could have made it so. The thing about missing Vienna is even though I want to go back--I have to go back--I don't know when that's going to be. It could be right after college, it could be when I'm 74. The determination is there, so I know I will be back, but it's the waiting that's killing me. It's the fact that I can't spout off all the stops on the U1 anymore, and it's that the smell of Kebaps and Maronis are slowly fading from my senses. The pictures are beautiful and stories are wonderful reminders, but nothing is quite as real as it is when you emerge from underground at Stephansplatz with St. Stephens towering over you in the square.
I have loved theatre for a very long time. And I hope that my frustration with it passes as quickly as it came. I want to love my job again. I want to be on fire for the art form that is unlike any other. There is so much that I remember loving about theatre, and I want it back. And that's all I'm going to say about that, because I could write about it for hours and not say everything I'm thinking.
Other thoughts that don't need explanations:
-I can't wait for October.
-I'm excited for HP7pt2
-I miss my family
-Sometimes all you need is a new perspective, a little encouragement, a short pep talk, and some words of wisdom from a really amazing friend. Add all that together, and you've got to feel at least a little better.
-You may be the missing piece to a puzzle, but it isn't necessarily this one.